Dysfunctional Mothering

I held your hand when you were little and kissed your hurts away.
I felt your pain when you had a birthday party and no one showed up.
Mothers love burned like a fireball, and I wanted to kiss the hurt away from your heart.

I wished for you a perfect life, mature in body, mind and spirit.
Spread your wings and fly away when you were ready.
But you flew away before you were ready, and never grew up.

Now
You forge my checks and I....give you money.
You pawn gifts of jewelery and I .....give you more jewelery,
because I want you to have pretty things.
You break into my house and I.....do very little.
You talk about needing money to rent a house and I....borrow it.
You move out of the house and I.....am still paying off the loan.


You mention the girls need clothes for school and I......buy them.
You abuse my trust with the trget card and I say.....almost nothing.
I figure it is no use, you don't care.
You need clothes for a job and ask to use a charge card and I ....let you.
Two weeks later, no job, but you keep the clothes and never offer any money.
If I say anything about these "things" you say....all I care about are material things.
You tell me you hate me and I.....am not surprised.
You leave Alexis with Mike and parents and don't tell me so I can go and get her,
and.... I am not surprised.


I am desensitized to the bad things you do....almost nothing surprises me,
Unless it would be hearing good.
I think you really do hate me, and punish me by not letting the kids stay with us.
It would have hurt no one if Alexis had stayed with us for a couple of weeks.
I guess you got a thrill out of imagining how I would feel when I found outs she stayed behind.
You have no idea how hard it is to look at their pictures without crying and feeling very blue.
I am still trying to kiss your hurts away ( yes that is right)
How can you grow up, if I won't let you.